Archive for the 'listening' Category
Posted on March 9, 2010
Talk about a communication conundrum. . .
Yesterday I was coaching a young woman (read “half my age”), and we were brainstorming ways to get her staff to take ownership of their work. We were exploring how to create a sense of urgency for them. (I hear this a lot from owners.)
We talked about playing some game with a timer—this is for an off-site retreat. We thought of Pictionary or maybe Charades. These didn’t excite me, but I know my kids liked Pictionary.
I thought back to games where I felt most pressured to win before time ran out. My mind went back to video games like Pac Man and Centipede.
They created that adrenalin rush that you had to move fast and smart or you would get eaten or whatever. (I was always an observer.)
She was aware of Pac Man, but had never heard of some of the others. She did not grow up in this country. Score 1 for “cultural differences.”
Then I got excited, remembering playing pre-video games, sometimes in drinking establishments. “We need a pinball machine!”
She looked at me with that “what are you talking about” look.
“Pinball, you know,” I said, reliving old memories, pantomiming pulling back the launcher and working the flippers. Still a blank look.
“Certainly you know of the rock opera ‘Tommy?’ Blind kid who’s a pinball wizard. . .”
Still a blank look. I was struggling here. Score 2 for “cultural differences.”
“Well, you do know who The Who is, don’t you?” I asked, looking for some shred of a way to relate.
“The Who. Yes, I know them.” Thank heavens!
Needless to say, my case for a pinball machine didn’t land on this young woman. They didn’t have pinball machines in her country. And she hadn’t taken a college course on great rock operas from the 1970s.
Posted on January 13, 2010
Yesterday I had the privilege of kicking off a Future Leaders program for a professional association. It is such a joy seeing the enthusiasm and openness that the Future Leaders display as they position themselves to grow professionally and personally.
I found this message this morning:
“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. I truly enjoyed your class last night and have already used the ‘Help me understand’ and ‘How can I help?’ tactics. No surprise, they worked! Thanks.”
For those who weren’t with us yesterday, here are some communication tools to always keep in your back pocket.
“Tell me more“–for when you didn’t understand or quite get what someone said. It keeps them talking and gives you time to listen for more information. Say this instead of asking a slew of questions that show you didn’t understand what the person said. Save yourself the embarrassment.
“Help me understand“–similar purpose. It may prod the other person to give you more in-depth information or to explain the logic behind their ideas or decisions.
“How can I help?” People like to help other people–it is part of what makes us different from other creatures. It gives you a chance to do a small favor for someone, and, in all likelihood, they will return that favor.
Armed with just those tools, you will grow in your ability to keep a conversation going, to understand what others need or want, and to gather the data you need to help your client.
So, how can you help me? Forward this blog post to friends who could also benefit from having these tools. And be sure to let me know how I can help you.
Have a great day.
Posted on November 16, 2009
I was doing a lunch and learn for a firm recently on how to get referrals and repeat business. Just about everyone I know needs to spend time working on getting referrals and repeat business.
But not Arthur.
Arthur is one of the more experienced (i.e., older) professionals at this firm. He proudly told me he doesn’t need referrals because his client keeps him busy.
“My client just keeps calling me with more work,” Arthur said. “I don’t even have to ask for it.”
“Arthur,” I asked, “what are you going to do when your client gets run over by a bus at lunchtime? Do you know who would replace him?”
This stopped Arthur cold—made him think. He knows his client’s boss, but he doesn’t know others in the firm—the others that might step in after the lunchtime tragedy.
Don’t get cocky like Arthur. Spend time with your clients and the folks who work with them. Develop relationships that will keep your business alive after the rogue bus drivers of this world take out your clients.
Posted on September 26, 2008
This week, instead of talking about problem people, I would like to pass along some great practices that are helping some of my clients be successful.
Doug decided he needed to become a better listener. When one of his staff comes into his office needing to talk, Doug asks for a minute to finish what he’s doing. Once he puts that work aside, he turns his full attention on the staffer. The staffer knows Doug is really listening. It’s a sign of respect and goes a long way toward building trust.
Greg wanted to improve his productivity and effectiveness. Now he sets aside time to answer emails that require thought and saves them as drafts. He lets them sit overnight before sending. The overnight break gives him time to think over his responses and change them if needed. This practice also keeps him focused on one task, rather than diverting his attention to answer each email when it arrives.
Jesse recognized that he needed to improve his approach to building relationships with clients. His usual practice was to start talking about his firm and what the firm could do for clients. He decided to turn the situation around, focusing on the client. Now, he spends a few minutes before a client meeting to prepare questions that are focused on the client, getting the client to open up about his concerns. This is a great way to build client relationships.
Anna kept finding her productivity dropping and her concentration broken by employees popping into her office to chat or ask a quick question. As an introvert, Anna needed chunks of time to concentrate on getting things done. She used the calendar-sharing function on Outlook to block out times when she didn’t want to be interrupted as well as open-office hours. This helped employees save their visits to open-office times and allowed Anna the periods of concentration she needed.
Send me your own best practices so I can share them with others in this online community. Or share them by commenting on this post.
