Archive for the 'making assumptions' Category
Posted on August 2, 2010
Last week I had lunch with a former client/still a friend who complained that I wasn’t delivering on what I had promised for my blog. That’s a nice way to start a conversation.
I had promised readers that I would post weekly mini case studies on how to manage people and on communications. I was very good at sticking to that schedule for more than a year.
Then the economy tanked, and my engineering buddies were hurting. And I became less rigorous about delivering those case studies.
But I’m back. After that friendly kick in the pants, I recommitted to posting something weekly. As we all know, one should “underpromise and overdeliver.”
I will close with this quick communication tip: Put yourself in the mind of your reader/listener. The other day, my husband was going to take a pill in our bathroom. I was in my office and asked him to bring me the yellow tablet next to my computer in the bedroom.
Sure enough, he did. Only he brought the yellow vitamin tablet I had left there. I was asking for the yellow writing tablet. He was thinking pills, I was thinking pens. So much for clear communication.
Posted on March 9, 2010
Talk about a communication conundrum. . .
Yesterday I was coaching a young woman (read “half my age”), and we were brainstorming ways to get her staff to take ownership of their work. We were exploring how to create a sense of urgency for them. (I hear this a lot from owners.)
We talked about playing some game with a timer—this is for an off-site retreat. We thought of Pictionary or maybe Charades. These didn’t excite me, but I know my kids liked Pictionary.
I thought back to games where I felt most pressured to win before time ran out. My mind went back to video games like Pac Man and Centipede.
They created that adrenalin rush that you had to move fast and smart or you would get eaten or whatever. (I was always an observer.)
She was aware of Pac Man, but had never heard of some of the others. She did not grow up in this country. Score 1 for “cultural differences.”
Then I got excited, remembering playing pre-video games, sometimes in drinking establishments. “We need a pinball machine!”
She looked at me with that “what are you talking about” look.
“Pinball, you know,” I said, reliving old memories, pantomiming pulling back the launcher and working the flippers. Still a blank look.
“Certainly you know of the rock opera ‘Tommy?’ Blind kid who’s a pinball wizard. . .”
Still a blank look. I was struggling here. Score 2 for “cultural differences.”
“Well, you do know who The Who is, don’t you?” I asked, looking for some shred of a way to relate.
“The Who. Yes, I know them.” Thank heavens!
Needless to say, my case for a pinball machine didn’t land on this young woman. They didn’t have pinball machines in her country. And she hadn’t taken a college course on great rock operas from the 1970s.
Posted on January 13, 2010
Yesterday I had the privilege of kicking off a Future Leaders program for a professional association. It is such a joy seeing the enthusiasm and openness that the Future Leaders display as they position themselves to grow professionally and personally.
I found this message this morning:
“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. I truly enjoyed your class last night and have already used the ‘Help me understand’ and ‘How can I help?’ tactics. No surprise, they worked! Thanks.”
For those who weren’t with us yesterday, here are some communication tools to always keep in your back pocket.
“Tell me more“–for when you didn’t understand or quite get what someone said. It keeps them talking and gives you time to listen for more information. Say this instead of asking a slew of questions that show you didn’t understand what the person said. Save yourself the embarrassment.
“Help me understand“–similar purpose. It may prod the other person to give you more in-depth information or to explain the logic behind their ideas or decisions.
“How can I help?” People like to help other people–it is part of what makes us different from other creatures. It gives you a chance to do a small favor for someone, and, in all likelihood, they will return that favor.
Armed with just those tools, you will grow in your ability to keep a conversation going, to understand what others need or want, and to gather the data you need to help your client.
So, how can you help me? Forward this blog post to friends who could also benefit from having these tools. And be sure to let me know how I can help you.
Have a great day.
Posted on November 16, 2009
I was doing a lunch and learn for a firm recently on how to get referrals and repeat business. Just about everyone I know needs to spend time working on getting referrals and repeat business.
But not Arthur.
Arthur is one of the more experienced (i.e., older) professionals at this firm. He proudly told me he doesn’t need referrals because his client keeps him busy.
“My client just keeps calling me with more work,” Arthur said. “I don’t even have to ask for it.”
“Arthur,” I asked, “what are you going to do when your client gets run over by a bus at lunchtime? Do you know who would replace him?”
This stopped Arthur cold—made him think. He knows his client’s boss, but he doesn’t know others in the firm—the others that might step in after the lunchtime tragedy.
Don’t get cocky like Arthur. Spend time with your clients and the folks who work with them. Develop relationships that will keep your business alive after the rogue bus drivers of this world take out your clients.
Posted on June 19, 2009
Today’s entry is about a situation where three people demonstrated how not to communicate effectively. It was ridiculous.
We have three players in today’s mess. Me. My admin, Anetris. And the client, who I shall call Sam. Follow this closely; there are many lessons to be learned.
The set-up: On a Thursday, I arranged to meet with Sam to review some work. We were to meet at 11 a.m. Sunday at a local coffee spot. Anetris had work she needed to give to Sam, so she told me she would meet us there.
On my calendar it said: Sunday, 11 a.m. Meet with Sam to review work. Anetris will join us to give stuff to Sam.
Come Sunday, I am at the coffee spot at 10:45. I notice that I got a call but no voicemail from Anetris at 10:30. So, I’m waiting for Sam and Anetris to show up at 11.
A few minutes after 11, I get a text message saying: “I’m running late. Will be there shortly.” I assumed the text was from Anetris for two reasons: (1) she had called earlier and we sometimes use text messages and (2) Sam runs a few minutes late at times and we never text each other.
About 11:10, Sam shows up. “Did you get my message?” he asks. Nope, says I, thinking voicemail.
Sam says he needs to get together with Anetris and I say, “She’s on her way. She’s bringing that material you want.”
11:30-no Anetris. I leave her a voicemail to get there pronto. (She lives less than a quarter mile away.) Sam and I focus on our work and wonder where Anetris is.
11:55-Text message from Anetris: “In church, call you later.” I figure she will show up by 12:15 or so since the church is just down the block.
12:30-I leave Anetris another voicemail. I get nothing in reply. Sam and I are not happy.
Here is how everything got messed up.
1. Anetris didn’t leave a message when she called at 10:30. She knew I was in Sunday school and would not answer.
2. The 11 a.m. text message shows up and I assume it’s from Anetris. Later I realized it was from Sam, who had never texted me before. I didn’t even look at who it was from.
3. I set the expectation for Sam that Anetris was joining us. He didn’t expect that before coming to the coffee shop.
4. Anetris neglected, in her 11:55 text message, to say that she was “in church about 30 miles away with family that dropped in unexpectedly.” Had she told us that in her text, Sam and I wouldn’t have gotten upset.
Morals of the story: Give all the facts. Notice who sent a message. Base expectations on reality.
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