The Strong, Silent Type
A few weeks ago, I offered suggestions for how to handle extraverts in the work place: Dealing With “Chatty Cathies.” I promised to give some insight into the introverts. That’s today’s topic.
Many of you know this joke, but I’ll repeat it here because it is so fitting.
“How do you tell the extraverted engineer from the introverted engineer?”
“The extraverted engineer is looking at your shoes.” (The introverted is looking at his own.)
Joke-telling is definitely not my forte, but I have a lot of experience with introverts. There are extraverted engineers out there, but they are the minority. The bulk of engineers I’ve met are introverts, and some are what I call raging introverts.
CHARACTERISTICS OF INTROVERTS
Introverts
* keep their energy and ideas inside, thus making it hard to get to know them
* may avoid (or run from) interaction with others
* hesitate before speaking
* thrive on alone time
* go deep on one or two areas of interest
* proceed cautiously in making decisions
* need to be asked for their opinion and input
* don’t give much away through facial expressions
HELP FOR INTROVERTS
“The introvert is pressured daily, almost from the moment of awakening, to respond and conform to the outer world,” according to Otto Kroeger and Janet Thuesen in their book “Type Talk.” If you are working with introverts, here is how you help them be more comfortable in a typical business situation.
* Give them questions and agendas ahead of meetings so they can think about the issues ahead of time. Do NOT ask an introvert a question and expect an immediate answer.
* Help them learn to interrupt others. This sounds very strange to extraverts, who interrupt all the time so that they can get their thoughts out. One introverted client, who is very smart, has been thought of as “not real bright” by an executive in her firm. He wants her to interrupt him, and she simply isn’t going to do that. I suggested she let him know that about her. She will wait until he is finished, then she will talk.
* Give them lots of prep time before any presentation. One introvert told me he was OK doing presentations, as long as he felt that he was fully prepared and knew what he was going to do. His version of fully prepared was much more extensive than an extravert’s version of fully prepared.
* Since introverts have to interact with others, suggest an introvert select a couple of topics that they are comfortable talking about in social settings or networking events. Again, give them time to prepare and to get comfortable with sharing. For men, this topic often involves sports.
* Allow introverts their alone time. If they don’t get this, they will stress out. If you are an introverted manager, close your office door. Let people know when you will take questions and when you want to be left alone.
For lots more great insight and information on introverts, read “The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extravert World” by Marti Olsen Laney.
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